How do children learn to get along with others?   By having 7-year-olds watch 7-year-olds get along with other 7-year-olds?

 

Or, do children  learn better by watching adults get along with adults?  You see, if children are expected to grow up, the operative word is up.

 

Grow up -- they should be moving up -- observing people who are older, wiser, who have solid, est

 

There’s nothing natural about placing a child in a classroom.

 

There is nothing natural about taking a 5-year-old and giving her over to strangers for 6 or 7 hours a day -- to spend 6 or 7 hours a day with multiple children you don’t know, with backgrounds you don’t know, with behaviors you don’t know.  That’s not natural, and it is not good.

 

Think about it -- the 5-year-old leaves home at 8, gets home at 3.  She goes to bed at 7:30 and tomorrow she does it all over again.  We’re talking about a 5-year-old.

 

When my son was 4 years old, I was a social worker at Maine’s institution for the mentally retarded.  I am a huge advocate for the mentally retarded.

 

On a day off, I brought my son with me to the campus.  I wondered, “Wouldn’t it be great if my son could come to work with me everyday?"

 

Wow! What would happen to this 4-year-old if he were placed in a residence hall with other like-functioning children?  What would my son be like if he spent 8 hours a day with mentally retarded children?  I believe he would acquire their behaviors: he would talk retarded, walk retarded, eat retarded, act retarded.

 

In the 1970’s, I worked as a social worker for the State of Maine.  My case load consisted of 28 adult, aggressive, locked, male, mentally retarded, institutionalized residents.

 

The institution was under Federal court order to out-place the residents into more normal environments, such as group homes.

 

As I researched the backgrounds of some of these men, I discovered that

 

An intensely religious family brought their 5th grade daughter to my office to set up a homeschooling program. They had moved to Maine only a few months before and the daughter had attended public school.

 

Why did they want to homeschool?  Since she wore a skirt to school every day, the kids teased her and the boys would get behind her in the hall and pull up her skirt.  This drove the girl to tears almost daily. And the boys go

 

 

After a public hearing on homeschooling, one of the  homeschooling fathers was confronted about his decision to homeschool.

 

When the attack included socialization, he retorted, “Are you kidding, socialization is the REASON we homeschool!”

 

 

 

 

Listen to the detractors of homeschoolers, and you will hear something like this:  “Well, I came out alright.  Why isn’t school good enough for your kid?'

 

So when the grandparents slip that phrase “it was good enough for you” into the conversation, you can gently tell them that the local school board just hired a 2nd full-time armed policeman for your high school.  And you can mention that all the g

 

 

In the Middle School years, my son played on the public Middle School football team.  Since we had to deliver him and pick him up daily, we offered other team members rides.

 

After a few weeks of practices, one of the players asked, “Mr. Tozo, is it true Stephen doesn’t go to school?”  We explained how homeschooling worked.

 

Socialization

I once heard a mother defend her decision to homeschool. 

When attacked with the familiar question, “What about socialization?”  she replied, “My children are not socialized, they are civilized."

 

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Another mother had a unique and decisive way to defend the socialization issue.

When cornered about socialization, one of t

 

 

The ancient culture decided that children were to remain with their parents for about the first 13 years (e.g., Jewish culture, bar mitzvah, manhood).

 

The modern culture has determined that should be extended to 18 years, the legal age to sign contracts, enter the military, etc.

 

Those 13 - 18 years are set aside so children can BOND with their parents.  Learn from them, be with them, watch them, hear them, go with them, do things with them.  Bonding.

 

Instead, we have parents who take a three month maternity leave, then begin turning their children over to others and put them into groups of peers to watch, hear, and be with.  This goes on for 13 years, so, instead of BONDING with the parents, these children are BANDING with their peers.

 

Bonding vs.